When You're Not Strong
by Drama-Duchess
Summary: Ephram is diagnosed with a life-changing medical condition.
1. Maternal Instincts

Disclaimer: Nope - the characters still do not belong to me.  
  
Author's Note: Here is my third fanfic!! I want to take this moment to thank all of you who've read & reviewed my stories thus far. Your comments mean a great deal to me and I appreciate it. If you liked this story, you may also find my first two stories interesting as well, given you haven't read them already!! Well, hope you have a few tissues handy (esp for chapter 6) cause you might need it by the time you're done with this story.  
  
Title: When You're Not Strong  
  
Chapter 1: Maternal Instincts  
  
"How are you holding up?" Ephram asked fumbling with a plastic cup trying to pour his father water from a pitcher.  
  
"Hanging in there." Andy croaked as he adjusted his pillow. Ephram handed the cup to his father.  
  
"You've been taking your post-medication and everything?" Ephram inquired.  
  
"Yes sir, Dr. Brown. I have taken all the drugs you've given me. Sir." Andy joked desperately trying to get a smile out of Ephram.  
  
"Ha. Ha. Very funny, dad." Ephram grinned tiredly. "I see you've got your humor back."  
  
"I know. Isn't it great? I came in for a vagotomy and came out with a sense of humor. Who knew a stomach ulcer would be this much trouble." Andy sighed taking a sip of the water. "Ephram, you seem paler than usual. Have you been eating? You look thin." Andy observed closely after a short pause.  
  
"Here we go." Ephram threw his arms up in disbelief. "Dad, I think you're delusional. Of course I've been eating." Ephram lied. In fact, he's been so busy lately that food was the last thing on his mind. "I can take care of myself you know."  
  
"Go home and get some rest. You look like you can use some."  
  
"I will. I just have one more errand to run. I'll come by in the morning. Hope you don't drive the nurses here too crazy." Ephram smirked.  
  
"Listen, I know you were looking forward to our vacation. Sorry I ruined our plans."  
  
School had just broke for the summer and just about everyone had plans. While the Abbott's were spending a good part of the summer basking on the sunny beaches of Santa Monica and the Hart's visiting extended family in Vancouver, being this was the first summer Colin had awaken from his coma, the Brown's were stuck in crappy Everwood. The Brown's had been looking forward to taking a trip back to New York, but that did not happen.  
  
It all started when Andy scheduled himself up for a gastrointestinal endoscopy at the hospital after complaining about constant heartburn and burning pain in the abdomen. His doctor passed a long thin flexible tube through Andy's mouth into the stomach and was able to see a whole side of Andy no one's ever seen before. A tissue sample of the stomach lining was taken for tests. At the end of a day, the doctor found Andy had more than a bit of indigestion. Andy was diagnosed with a benign gastric ulcer. Medication was all he needed but as it turns out, the ulcer was resistant to medication. His doctor advised a vagotomy. And so, their New York summer getaway was grounded.  
  
"There's always next summer. Don't sweat it." Ephram got up to leave.  
  
"Hey, Ephram." Andy called just as Ephram reached for the doorknob. Ephram turned around. "Thanks." Andy paused. "For everything."  
  
"Just pulling my weight around here." Ephram waved and exited the room.  
  
The truth was Ephram had not been well at all. It wasn't easy juggling everything and getting over a head cold. He was exhausted to the point where his entire body ached but he won't admit it - especially to his father. Maybe it was a guy thing. Nina and Edna offered their help, but Ephram refused. He wanted to be able to say he can handle it. After all, his father had been doing this for a little over a year now and never complained. For the past two weeks, Ephram had been the man of the house. He did everything from the house cleaning to laundry, from mowing the lawn to grocery shopping to cooking meals for Delia, from looking after Delia to caring for his father at the hospital. He made time for Delia as well as. In the beginning, he dubbed himself "Super Brother", but now, he preferred to retire his cape and super powers to play just the role of the normal irresponsible teenager.  
  
Ephram walked out of the hospital with his hands jammed into the pockets of his jacket. The winds have picked up. He should've worn a warmer jacket. Why did he always find himself in this predicament? He was not used to the unstable Colorado Rocky Mountain weather. The morning was chilly, afternoon warm, and night bitter cold. There was a difference of nearly 30 degrees between morning and night. He gazed at the evening sky. Increasingly dark clouds were forming overhead. It looked like rain. He quickened his pace.  
  
*** The Journey Home ***  
  
By the time Ephram got out of the market, the sky had turned pitch black and the rain was coming down in bucketfuls. Carrying a large brown paper bag in each arm, he started walking. It was typical of him not to think of bringing an umbrella. Petty thoughts always lingered in his mind keeping him from paying too much attention to the local weather stations. He was sopping wet from head to foot after walking two blocks and he was feeling a bit sick.  
  
A car slowed down and honked trying to get Ephram's attention. He nearly jumped out of his skin upon hearing the loud noise. He looked over and recognized Nina's little red Saturn. She rolled down the passenger side window.  
  
"Need a ride?" Nina yelled flashing a smile. Even though Nina lived right next door, he normally wouldn't accept any favors but given the circumstances, he approached the car. "Put the bags in the trunk!" Nina said as she popped the trunk open. Ephram did so and slid into the front passenger seat.  
  
"Thanks, Nina." He said while shaking off the rain.  
  
"Look at you, you're all wet. We've got to get you dried off." Nina cooed as they sped away.  
  
"I'm ok. Really." Ephram replied nonchalantly. But in reality, he extremely relished the attention. Since his mother died, Nina had been the epitome of a mother figure to him. Of course, no one can take the place of his biological mother, but Nina sure came close to second place.  
  
"How's your father doing?"  
  
"Recovering."  
  
"When's he getting out? I bet he can't wait."  
  
"Day after tomorrow."  
  
"That's good to hear. I'm glad he's going to be fine. No more spicy foods or alcohol for him." Nina said bubbly. "So, what's going on with you?"  
  
"The usual." Ephram wasn't in a talking mood.  
  
"How's Delia? She must miss her dad these few weeks."  
  
"She's coping."  
  
"You feeling ok? You seem a bit quiet." Nina continued and shot a worried glance at Ephram, who was preoccupied with watching the windshield wipers slide back and forth wiping away the accumulating dashes of rain. "Ephram?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm fine. Just have a headache. I'll take a Tylenol when I get home."  
  
"I made lasagna. How about I bring some over and we can have dinner together?" Nina said sensing Ephram was not well. He was about to refuse when Nina started talking again. "I know you are capable of taking care of yourself, but with Delia at the slumber party and Sam with his grandparents tonight, maybe we don't have to eat alone. Besides, my lasagna is the best in all Everwood. So, yes?" She always had a way with words.  
  
"Yea." Ephram accepted. He really wasn't up for an argument. Especially when he knew she was going to win anyway.  
  
"Good. Then it's a date." Nina marveled as she pulled into her driveway.  
  
*** Feeling Sick ***  
  
They were half way into their quiet dinner of piping hot lasagna, when Ephram started feeling really lousy. He tried to hide it by wolfing down food, even though he didn't have much of an appetite.  
  
"Well, I'm impressed." Nina said trying to strike up a conversation. "The house is spotless." She exaggerated as she observed the cleanliness of the house.  
  
"No wild parties here." Ephram replied.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Ephram, you look a bit flushed. Are you sure you're ok?" Nina pressed.  
  
"It's just from running around all day. This lasagna is delicious." He said changing the subject and stuffed the last forkful of lasagna into his mouth.  
  
"I'm glad you approve." She smiled. "Have you taken that Tylenol yet?"  
  
Ephram always thought Nina was pretty. She reminded him of his mother. They both had long sandy brown hair, except Nina always tied her hair back. Nina had beautiful hazel eyes that danced like little flames each time she laughed. Ephram knew it had only been a year and a half since his mother's death, but sometimes he secretly wished his father would marry Nina. He didn't think it was so far-fetched especially since Nina was just a few years younger than Andy. But as luck would have it, Nina was already married. It was a shaky marriage to a traveling salesman, who seemed to be away on "business" forever. It was complicated. Ephram needed a mother and he was already very fond of her.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"For your headache?"  
  
"Oh. No, I forgot." Ephram mumbled.  
  
"Why don't you go do that while I clean up here?" Nina instructed.  
  
Ephram poured a glass of water and found the bottle of Tylenol on the second shelf of the kitchen cabinet. As soon as he twisted the plastic cap off, his vision blurred. He shook his head in attempt to clear his impairment. A rush of dizziness enveloped him. The room spun around in circles. He found himself swaying on his feet. There was an abnormal stabbing pain in his chest and it was suddenly hard to breathe. He wanted to call out to Nina but somehow his vocal chords failed him.  
  
Nina heard the bottle of Tylenol fall. The scattered pills bounced off the lacquered hardwood floor and rolled in a hundred different directions. Ephram tried to keep from falling by holding onto the edge of the kitchen counter, but it was no help. By the time Nina got to Ephram, it was too late. He had already dropped to the floor like a ton of bricks.  
  
* end of chapter 1 * 


	2. Super Brother is Not Invincible

Chapter 2: Super Brother is Not Invincible  
  
The only light that illuminated the dark room was the moonbeams that penetrated the glass of the window. She stood by the bed watching him sleep for the past half hour not making a sound. She thought it amazing how everyone always seemed to look years younger when they slept. Nina didn't want to wake him but she knew she had to. 'He looked so peaceful and comfortable.' She thought letting out a sighed. He stirred lightly and woke from his sleep. He squinted to make out the dark figure standing by his bed.  
  
"Nina! You scared me! What are you doing here at the hospital?" Andy said recognizing her form with the help of the moonlight from the window.  
  
"I didn't mean to wake you." Nina began. She stepped closer to Andy and it was apparent she was troubled with the serious in her tone.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
"Ephram's been admitted into the hospital tonight."  
  
"What?! What happened? Is he alright?" Andy grew concerned.  
  
"I don't know. We were having dinner at your place. Then he went to get a Tylenol and he just collapsed like the rug was pulled right out from under him. Called an ambulance. By the time we got to the hospital, he was running a high fever. The doctor is still trying to get his fever to go down."  
  
"Where is he? I have to see him." Andy kicked his blanket back to get out of bed.  
  
"Andy, you can't just get up and leave. You're supposed to be in bed." Nina tried to stop him.  
  
"Please understand. I HAVE to see if he's ok." Nina saw the desperate plea in his eyes and she knew she had to help him.  
  
"Fine. At least let me talk to the nurse and get you a wheelchair." Her eyes questioned. He nodded and settled back into bed.  
  
Nina always had a way with words. It was her specialty. She can talk a person into anything and she can talk the nurses into this little favor. Before long, she was back with a wheelchair and ready to take Andy to his son.  
  
*** In Exam Room 1 ***  
  
Ephram watched feverishly as his nurse injected medication into his intravenous line. His nurse was a rosy-cheeked heavy-set woman in her 50's. She smiled a lot. Her curly medium length silver hair was pinned neatly under her nurse's cap. She wore a white nurse's pant uniform with white Keds.  
  
"Please." Ephram whispered weakly to the nurse. He breathed and swallowed the lump in his throat.  
  
"There, there. You'll be ok sweetie. Relax." She assured. Ephram felt his head resting against something wet. Then he realized his own sweat had soaked his pillow. "We just got to get that fever down."  
  
He closed his eyes for what felt like a minute and when he opened them, he saw his father, Nina, the nurse, and the doctor materialized before him. His father was in a wheelchair wearing blue cotton pajamas. The voices and sounds were muffled. He wasn't sure if they were talking to him or about him.  
  
"What's his condition?" Andy asked the doctor.  
  
"He's got all the symptoms of pneumonia. I took X-rays and ran some blood tests to be on the safe side. We should know something by tomorrow. He's got a fever of 103.2 and we're trying to get the temperature down." The doctor explained. Andy watched the nurse change Ephram's pillow for the third time. Ephram had been sweating profusely.  
  
"I know you're worried but until we get the test results, all we can do is make him as comfortable as possible. You should go back to bed. You need your rest too Andy." The doctor continued. Apparently, they knew each other.  
  
"Just let me stay a few minutes longer." Andy begged.  
  
"Ten minutes." The doctor said signaling the nurse. Having doctoral connections had its advantages. Rules could be bent slightly.  
  
"Thanks, Bill. I appreciate it."  
  
"See you in the morning." Bill said giving Andy a pat on the back as he exited the room.  
  
Ephram groaned softly. He wanted to tell his father how sorry he was for getting sick. And how he could have handled everything on his own. Oblivious to Andy, it was something Ephram wanted to prove - not only to his father, but to himself as well. After a while, he couldn't think about it anymore. There was an uneasy feeling developing in the pit of his stomach.  
  
His stomach gave a brutal jolt. With all his might, Ephram quickly lifted his upper body to the side of the bed and violently hurled all the contents of his stomach. The slimy reddish brown soupy chunks of half-digested lasagna mixed with bile splattered onto the clean white tiled floor. As the nurse dashed over, Ephram's hacking cough shook his frail body as he choked on vomit. He caused alarm in everyone. The nurse tried to comfort him and rubbed his back in a soothing manner. With almost no energy left after throwing up his dinner, he lay down on his back with the help of the nurse.  
  
His eyelids got heavier. He couldn't tell if it was from drowsiness or if he was passing out again. Maybe it was the antibiotics working. But he saw the concerned look on his father's tired face.  
  
"Sleepy." Ephram managed to say trying not to worry his father.  
  
"OK." Andy acknowledged.  
  
After wheeling Andy back to his room, Andy persuaded Nina to go home. He tried to get some sleep but it wasn't easy. His sleep came in short naps. How was he able to sleep soundly again knowing his son was so helplessly sick? He kept thinking about Ephram - wondering if he was going to be alright. The medical profession exposed him to every kind of illness known possible to mankind but he'd never seen his son this sick before. The last time he saw Ephram, he was still walking and talking. And the next minute, he was so weak. It was almost scary. There was something terribly wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was going to be a long night.  
  
*** In the Lounge ***  
  
Dr. Bill Sommers was a tall slender man about the same age as Andy with a thick mustache and wore silver rimmed glasses. He had a stoic facial expression as he walked down the hall with a bunch of folders in tow. His white lab coat flew with him when he took big strides. He stopped to talk to a nurse along the way. Nina had picked up Delia from the slumber party and brought her to the hospital lounge where Andy was nervously awaited for news from Bill on Ephram's blood tests.  
  
"When can I see Ephram?" Delia asked impatiently.  
  
"A little later, sweetheart. He's still sleeping right now." Andy answered. Andy had been checking up on Ephram, whose fever had gone down slightly but was still warm to the touch. It was a bit too warm for Andy's liking.  
  
Dr. Sommers approached Andy, Nina, and Delia. They exchanged friendly pleasantries and chatted lightly on how Andy was doing.  
  
"How's Ephram?" Andy questioned anxiously.  
  
"Well, he's definitely got pneumonia. But don't worry, it's nothing he won't recover from." Dr. Sommers stated adjusting his glasses as his stern expression returned.  
  
"Is there something else I need to know?" Andy sensed the doctor was not quite done with his prognosis yet.  
  
"That's what I need to talk to you about." Dr. Sommers replied solemnly. Andy didn't like the sound of his tone. "I think you guys better sit down. I'm afraid I have some rather bad news. Aft-"  
  
"What bad news??" Andy cut him off. Nina held Andy's arm giving him moral support for whatever came next.  
  
"After reviewing Ephram's X-rays, I noticed some irregularities. In order to be more thorough, I'm going to highly suggest Ephram get a CAT scan when he regains some of his strength. I know a great radiologist."  
  
* end of chapter 2 * 


	3. A Gruesome Diagnosis

Chapter 3: A Gruesome Diagnosis  
  
"A CAT scan?! Why does he need a CAT scan? What exactly were your findings on the X-rays?" Andy cried in horror.  
  
"Andy, your son has what appears to be a thoracic aortic aneurysm." Dr. Sommers said. Andy couldn't believe the news he was hearing.  
  
"Are you sure?" Andy muttered already knowing the answer to his question.  
  
"It's very likely. But the CAT scan will confirm it. The X-rays I have shows a dilatation in the thoracic aorta." Dr. Sommers reasoned as he watched Andy's face turn with fear. "Look, it was a good thing he came into the hospital now. If he didn't have pneumonia and X-rays and blood tests were not taken, we would not have found out about the aneurysm. As you know, it can take years for symptoms of an aneurysm to become evident. It's better we find out now than when it's too late." Dr. Sommers offered a few words of hope.  
  
"Is there treatment for this aneurysm?" Nina inquired moving nervously in her seat next to Andy. She held his arm tighter.  
  
"At this point, it looks like a small aneurysm but with proper care and regular check ups, we should be able to keep track of it and know when surgery is needed. A ruptured aneurysm can be fatal."  
  
Andy wanted to cry. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare. How could he not have known about this aneurysm before? He was a doctor - a good doctor. How was this overlooked? He knew aneurysms ran in Julia's side of the family but it was very remote. The only known case was Ephram's great aunt, who died from complications of an abdominal aneurysm. The thought never occurred to him that Ephram's life could ever be in danger. Why was this happening to him? Why was this happening to his son?  
  
"Andy, I can't promise anything but we WILL take good care of him. I've got to make my rounds now." Dr. Sommers said looking at his watch. "But I'll be here later if you want to talk or see the X-rays. You'll be ok?"  
  
"Yea." Andy sighed as Dr. Sommers left the lounge. Andy buried his face in his hands.  
  
"Andy." Nina said with heartfelt sorrow.  
  
"I'm ok." Andy said rubbing his eyes.  
  
Doctors were the holders of optimism. They had all the answers. Even when the chips were down, they gave families hope because there might be a slight chance of a cure or remedy for whatever ailment life imposed. Andy learned that part of the trade. It was easy dealing with patients and their families but the road was always harder when it hit closer to home. He needed that extra bit of reassurance, comfort, and salvation. He now understood the power of doctors. He vowed never to give up on Ephram. Ever.  
  
"Daddy, what's an anna-ism?" Delia asked curiously.  
  
"You mean 'aneurysm'. In an aortic aneurysm, there is a weak spot in the heart's biggest artery, called the aorta, and a bulge forms there. And it gets bigger, kind of like a balloon, and when too much pressure is applied to that weak spot, it can burst." Andy tried to explain it in the simplest way so his eight year old can grasp the concept.  
  
"You mean sorta like the time Bright's appendix burst?"  
  
"Yes, similar but this is more serious. When an aneurysm bursts, it can get extremely dangerous and the person can die."  
  
"And Ephram's got an ann-nu-rism inside his body?" Delia sounded out the new word she just learned.  
  
"Yes, he does."  
  
"Is he going to die?" Tears welled up in her eyes.  
  
"No baby of course not. Ephram's not going to die. He's going to get better. We will make sure of that." Andy took Delia in his arms and gave her a big hug.  
  
"Promise?" Delia pouted.  
  
"Promise." Andy whispered. "We'll go visit him in a while. But you've got to promise me one thing. You won't mention any of this to him. I want him to recover a little bit before I tell him the news. Ok pumpkin?"  
  
"OK." Delia nodded. Andy gave her a kiss on the cheek.  
  
* end of chapter 3 * 


	4. What a Boy Needs

Chapter 4: What a Boy Needs  
  
The warm rays of sunlight beaming thru his window awoke Ephram from a long restful sleep. He still had a fever but had gone down a few degrees. His head still ached and the pain in his chest was still causing him discomfort. The last thing he remembered was the look on his father's face in the exam room. He couldn't tell if it was morning or afternoon. He glanced at the round clock on the wall by the door.  
  
'3:15 pm?! Oh no! I was supposed to have picked up Delia hours ago!!' Ephram thought and tried to sit up.  
  
"That is SO not a good idea. You're still weak." Said a female voice next to him. He turned his head and found Nina sitting in a sofa chair pulled up next to his bed.  
  
"Delia." He had a hoarse voice. Swallowing was difficult.  
  
"It's ok. She's here. I picked her up. She and your dad just went out in the hall for a while. They'll be back soon." Nina reassured.  
  
"Am sick?" Ephram spoke only in short phrases since his throat was hurting so badly.  
  
"Yea, you've really outdone yourself this time. Pneumonia. But you'll live." She felt her tone of voice change as she said the word "live." She hoped he didn't sense anything wrong.  
  
"He mad at me." It came out as a statement when he meant to have said it in question form.  
  
"Who? Your dad? What on earth for!"  
  
"Getting sick." Pause. "Not take care of everything."  
  
"What!? Your dad is not mad at you. No one is mad at you. We all love you, silly!! In fact, he can't stop talking about how wonderful you were during his stay at the hospital."  
  
The words 'love you' echoed in Ephram's head. 'Nina loved me? Did she just say she loved me? Maybe I was hearing it wrong.' Ephram thought.  
  
Andy and Delia walked thru the door. They were both glad to see Ephram awake. Nina got up.  
  
"Ok kid, your dad and sister's here. That would be my cue to exit." She laughed.  
  
"No - don't go mommy." Ephram grunted holding out his hand to her. With that outburst, everyone in the room froze. It was the most awkward situation Nina had ever been caught in. She was flattered that this poor sick motherless boy was so attached to her and calling her "mommy" but she blushed because Andy was present and she felt out of place.  
  
"I think it's the drugs talking." She said to Andy with a chuckle. She turned back to Ephram. "Ephram, I'll just be outside. I promise to come back in a few minutes." She smiled warmly.  
  
Ephram meant it. It wasn't the drugs. He was groggy but he was aware of his surroundings. He meant to call Nina "mommy." He wanted her to be his mommy. He wanted her to take care of him but what was the chance of that happening? Maybe it was the drugs doing a number on him after all.  
  
"Well, Ephram. Glad to see you're doing better." Andy said taking Ephram's left hand while Delia took Ephram's right hand.  
  
"You walking." Ephram noticed.  
  
"Yeah. I'm almost as good as new and ulcer-free. I get outta here tomorrow. No more gross hospital food and green jell-o."  
  
"But I like green jell-o." Delia voiced.  
  
"Fine, then I'll make you some when we get home." Andy laughed wholeheartedly.  
  
"I love you, Ephram." Delia squealed in delight turning her attention to Ephram.  
  
"Too." Ephram smiled back at his little sister. He coughed. And it seemed to drain him of whatever energy he had.  
  
"Delia, why don't you go ask the nurse for a glass of water for Ephram?"  
  
Delia was more than happy to lend her services. She bounced out of the room.  
  
"Sorry." Ephram apologized seeing they were alone.  
  
"You don't have to be sorry for anything. Nina was great help. I can understand why you were getting attached to her."  
  
"No. Not that." Ephram paused. His shortness of breath was really starting to get on his nerves. He couldn't even finish a damn sentence without stopping for air. "For letting you down."  
  
"What?! If anything, I let YOU down. You have been the perfect son - well, since we stopped arguing all the time." He chuckled. "You have done so much for me these past few weeks and I can't even begin to say how much I appreciate it. I'm so proud of you, knuckle head."  
  
Ephram was shocked at that last sentence. First Nina said she loved him, now his dad said he was proud of him. 'Life was good.' Ephram thought.  
  
"Proud of you too." Ephram grimaced as he shifted in his bed to get more comfortable.  
  
Delia came back with a tall pink plastic cup of cold water with a straw in it. She moved slowly to the bed carefully not spilling its contents. She held the cup for Ephram as he sucked the liquid from the straw.  
  
"Better?" Delia said after Ephram took a long sip.  
  
"Mmm." Ephram nodded in approval. "Thanks."  
  
Andy watched Ephram paying attention to one of Delia's zany stories and wondered how he was going to break the news to his son about the aneurysm. He wasn't sure how Ephram would react to the news. Was he going to cry? Would it shatter him to pieces? Would he be scared? Or would he be brave?  
  
* end of chapter 4 * 


	5. Keeping Secrets

Chapter 5: Keeping Secrets  
  
It was almost five days since Ephram's admittance to the hospital when Andy found the moment to tell Ephram of the aortic aneurysm developing in his son's chest. Ephram was recovering nicely from his bout with pneumonia and have even gotten stronger. To Andy's surprise, Ephram took the news too well. Andy expected a more dramatic reaction to the dreadful news. There were no tears, no anguish, and no signs of fear. There was only silence. This worried him. Andy thought it would be easier to cope if Ephram would show some sort of emotion. Any emotion would be better than none at all. Ephram listened to his father's ramblings about the procedures and what's to happen next. He found comfort in sleeping and quietly holding Nina's hand. Occasionally, he would talk to his father and joke a bit with Delia.  
  
There was only one conversation Andy remembered that Ephram showed any form of emotion. It happened shortly after Andy told him about the aneurysm.  
  
"Who else knows about this?" Ephram asked.  
  
"Right now, just Nina and Delia." Andy replied.  
  
"I don't want anyone else to know about this. Can you tell them to keep this a secret?"  
  
"Sure. But why?"  
  
"Don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. Don't want everyone treating me like I'm some sort of freakshow. Besides, it's none of anyone's business to know." Ephram shrugged.  
  
Andy was astonished at his son's words. "But what you have is not contagious. No one will treat you like a freak. They can only learn and understand what's going on in your body."  
  
"Please dad. It's all I ask. It's very important. I don't want anyone else to know. Swear it you won't tell anyone!!" He begged almost with tears in his eyes.  
  
Andy reassured him no one else would know. Ever since that conversation, Ephram acted like there was nothing wrong. He went back to being his usual self after being discharged from the hospital on the sixth day. Each time Andy asked him if he felt any pain anywhere, he'd just say no and change the subject. Andy could see his son's solitude and despair when he hid it in his silence. Ephram was in denial. He didn't believe there was a slim chance he may die unexpectedly at any given day, in any given year, at any given time.  
  
Time was being wasted and Andy scheduled for the CAT scan appointment for the following week.  
  
"So, tell me again how this CAT scan thing works." Ephram questioned his father nervously as he sat in the hospital changing room. They allowed him to wear his own clothes instead of a hospital gown, which he always hated. He wore a plain white T-shirt, light gray yoga pants and white athletic socks. Any clothes with metal trims were not permitted as they interfered with the images.  
  
"It's quite simple actually. First, they're going to inject you with contrast material. Then you'll be placed on a moving table and it's going to slide into a round tubular machine where three-dimensional X-rays will be taken of your internal organs." Andy explained. "I'll be able to see you thru the observation window where the controls are located and there's a 2- way intercom system in the room so we'll be able to communicate throughout the whole procedure."  
  
"Sounds painless. How long is it going to take?"  
  
"About an hour or so. But you gotta lie really still or else the X-ray images won't come out clear."  
  
The radiologist, a skinny woman with blond hair tied back into a bun, knocked on the door. She announced everything was ready for the CAT scan.  
  
* end of chapter 5 * 


	6. In the Chamber of Lights

Chapter 6: In the Chamber of Lights  
  
Ephram lied flat on his back as the table moved into the donut-shaped machine. He was trying so hard to be brave. But on the contrary, he was terrified. He searched for his father thru the observation window. Andy waved when Ephram looked at his direction.  
  
"Hello, can you hear me?" The radiologist said thru the intercom. Her voice sounded like it came from somewhere near his ears.  
  
"Yea. I can hear you." Ephram responded.  
  
"Good. Let me know if you feel any discomfort at anytime. OK?" She spoke.  
  
"OK."  
  
"We are going to take some X-rays now. It's a painless procedure so I want you to relax. I'm going to ask you to do some breathing exercises in a while. OK?"  
  
"Sure." Ephram's voice shook.  
  
"Ephram.you have just entered the twilight zone." Andy's voice came over the intercom. "Dee-doo, dee-doo, dee-doo, dee-oo." He continued wanting to lighten the mood.  
  
"Dad - it's not funny!!" Ephram laughed nonetheless.  
  
The whirring noise from the machine gave Ephram a start. It seemed like an eternity being trapped in this chamber. He lost track of time. There was space in there only enough to fit him and the cushioned tray table. The beams of lights reminded him of an old Star Wars movie. He didn't move a muscle.  
  
"OK, now Ephram, can you hold your breath for me?" The radiologist's voice said. "Good - now release your breath. Very good." Ephram followed all her instructions. "Now, I need you to take a deep breath."  
  
Being confined in the machine for such a long time gave him an opportunity to reflect on what has happened to him within the past two weeks. He eventually came to the realization that he was here taking a CAT scan for a reason. It was because he had a medical condition that could result in death. One minute his life was going fine and the next, it could be snuffed out in an instant. He feared death the most. He watched how the death of his mother tore his family apart. He's seen the sorrow, known the heartbreak, and felt everyone's grief. He didn't want to put them thru that again. He closed his eyes tightly to stop tears from slipping thru but it was useless.  
  
He clenched his teeth to keep from sobbing and held back sniffles. The tears continued to run down the corner of his closed eyes. He couldn't imagine his life like this. Waking up each morning wondering if that was the day he was going to die. He was so sad.  
  
The movable table slid out of the gantry. Ephram was too caught up in his thoughts and hadn't realized the CAT scan procedure was over. Andy saw thru the glass window that Ephram was lying on the table crying with eyes shut. As soon as the radiologist said it was safe to go into the CAT scan room, Andy rushed to Ephram's side.  
  
"Ephram! What's the matter? Why are you crying?" Andy exclaimed. Ephram refused to open his eyes. His shoulders shook thru muffled sobs. He clenched is fists into tight balls to hold his anger and frustration. It was not physical pain that made him so hysterical. It was fear and self- pity.  
  
"Ephram? Are you alright?" Andy grabbed Ephram's shoulder and noticed his son's fists held in such tight grasps that his fingernails dug painfully into his palm. His arm muscles were flexed hard. Tears came flowing from his eyes. Neat tiny puddles of tears formed on the cushioned table next to his ears. He bit his lip to stop the tears but instead he let out a loud sob. Andy grew concerned.  
  
"Ephram - tell me where it hurts." Andy panicked mistaking his son's emotion for physical pain. "Ephram, can you hear me? Say something." Ephram ignored his father and continued bawling.  
  
"Son, where does it hurt?" Andy tried again. "I want to help you. But you have to let me know what's wrong."  
  
"Tell me, does it hurt here?" Andy said seriously and placing his shaking hand gently on Ephram's stomach.  
  
"No. It doesn't hurt anywhere." Ephram finally burst out as he opened his eyes. "I try to be brave, but I can't. It's so hard."  
  
"Oh, hey. It's alright. It's OK to be scared." Andy took Ephram into his arms handling him ever so gently. Ephram buried his wet face into Andy's shirt and sobbed. Ephram wrapped his arms around his father, not wanting to let go. He didn't care who saw him or how loud he sobbed. He so desperately needed someone to lean on.  
  
"I'm gonna die." Ephram choked thru streaming tears.  
  
"Ephram baby. Shhh. Don't say that. Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let it."  
  
"Dad- I'm scared." Ephram cried.  
  
"I know. I'm scared too." Andy soothed.  
  
"Just hold me. Don't let me go. Please." Ephram clung to his father's waist tighter. He was shivering so horribly that it almost caused Andy to call for help.  
  
"I won't ever let you go. You mean so much to me. I can't let you go." Andy whispered while rubbing Ephram's back.  
  
"I don't know what to do." He looked at Andy with his watery greenish-gray eyes brimming with new tears. It was enough to make Andy explode into a crying fit but he bit back his tears and just held his son. He let a few droplets of tears escape when he was sure Ephram wasn't watching. He wished he had an answer for his son, but he didn't.  
  
It was a long embrace and ultimately for the first time, Ephram actually felt safe. He whimpered and cried so hard his whole body convulsed uncontrollably. Andy kissed the crown of Ephram's head.  
  
"I'm going to take care of you. You'll see." Andy offered. "Don't cry. It breaks my heart to see you so upset."  
  
Eventually, Ephram calmed down. He brushed the last of his tears with the back of his hand and wiped it on his pants.  
  
"You ok now?" Andy asked. Ephram nodded. "We're going to get thru this. We're a team, you hear? Teammates don't give up on each other." He nodded again.  
  
"Sorry about your shirt." Ephram said gesturing to the huge wet tear stains on Andy's shirt.  
  
"It's ok. Been a long time since I had a salt bath." Andy retorted. "C'mon, lets get out of here."  
  
Ephram hopped off the table and walked out of the room with Andy by his side.  
  
"You know, ice cream always makes me feel better. Let's take Delia, Nina, and Sam for an ice cream run. I'm feeling rocky road with lots of fudge and whipped cream today." Andy said smacking his lips.  
  
* end of chapter 6 * 


	7. Living With Nightmares

Chapter 7: Living With Nightmares  
  
BING BONG!! The Brown's doorbell chimed. Ephram found it interesting how the sound of his doorbell reminded him of Greek mythology - the song of the Sirens. It wasn't just a 'ding dong' like a normal doorbell. It had a beautifully sweet melody that sounded like a siren singing the word "Belong." He only kept this thought to himself. If he should ever mention this to his father, he would no doubt be dragged to a shrink to get his head examined in addition to the regular check ups at the hospital for his aneurysm.  
  
"I'll get it!" Andy called running from the kitchen with a towel in his hand. Ephram was practicing Beethoven's 9th on the piano in the living room. But of course, he was a curious boy. Ephram had to spy thru the corridor to see who was ringing their doorbell on a Sunday afternoon.  
  
Andy opened the door and there stood Nina with a big platter filled with cookies, brownies, and muffins.  
  
"Oh! You shouldn't have!!" Andy gawked at the still steaming hot baked goods that Nina held. "You did all this for me? I'm so touched." He faked a sniffle.  
  
"I didn't. These are not for you. They're for Ephram." She beamed.  
  
"Ephram, you can stop hiding behind the corridor now and come in here!" Andy yelled as he invited Nina to enter the house. "Nina brought you a present!"  
  
"Hi Ephram. I know you won't want any more lasagna since you just about threw it all up the last time I made it. So! This time, I made your favorite - butterscotch and pecan cookies!!" Nina spoke when Ephram came into the room. "Plus a few other goodies, which you may share - if you want to." She playfully eyed Andy.  
  
"Thanks!" Ephram blushed. "And I didn't mean to throw up your lasagna."  
  
"That's ok. I was just kidding! So, how are you?" She set the platter down on the dinning room table as Andy disappeared into the kitchen to make coffee.  
  
"How do you think? I'm a walking time bomb. I can explode at any minute. Do you know this could be the last time I talk to you?" Ephram shot back with an cold stare, then started laughing after he saw the horror in Nina's eyes. "I'm just kidding!!!" He added.  
  
"Ephram!! That is nothing to kid about!!!" She scolded.  
  
"I know. Don't tell my dad what I said. He gets nervous when I start talking like that." He whispered. "Actually, I'm doing good. The doctor says my aneurysm is 7 centimeters."  
  
Nina looked confused. "Oh, that's a good thing. Means it hasn't gotten bigger. See, normal size for a thoracic aortic aneurysm is 4 to 5 centimeters in diameter. Rupture size is when it gets bigger than 10 centimeters." Ephram explained.  
  
"Wow, you seem very knowledgeable on this stuff!" Nina was impressed.  
  
"A month ago, I was totally freaking out, but I'm ok now. Learning more about my condition makes me less scared."  
  
"Well, that's good."  
  
"Yea, it ain't so bad. I just go back for CAT scans about every month and even though I don't need it, dad makes me get check ups every other week. And they keep me updated. My doctor says I don't need surgery yet. They're still running tests."  
  
"You're so brave!!"  
  
"I'm not. Believe me, I'm not. But I learned it's ok to be scared sometimes. I mean, it IS a human weakness after all."  
  
"My gosh, how you've matured!"  
  
Ephram blushed at the compliment. He glanced in the direction of the kitchen to see if his father was listening. And when he was sure his father was far away within hearing distance, he began talking again.  
  
"I didn't mean to make you embarrassed by calling you my mom at the hospital." Ephram said in a low tone.  
  
"That's ok. I wasn't embarrassed." She lied. "You're a sweet kid. I should be very lucky if Sam grows up to be just like you."  
  
Ephram had hoped she would say something more delicate like she wanted to be his mother or that she wanted to care for him forever. But, as usual, it was wishful thinking. He couldn't possibly expect so much from someone who demanded so little. A brief moment of sadness passed his mind.  
  
Nina sensed the sadness and playfully punched Ephram lightly on the shoulder. He looked at her. Her lips curled up and her eyes told him that she understood. It was their first moment of understanding each other without uttering a word. Even though no words were spoken, they felt a sudden connection. 'There was hope after all.' Ephram foolishly thought. She placed her arm around his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. Ephram wanted to cry tears of joy.  
  
"Lady and gent, afternoon coffee, tea, and biscuits are served." Andy interrupted in his terrible fake British accent. "Delia!! Food!!!" He called up the stairs.  
  
~ End ~  
  
Footnote: This story ends here. But I have a sequel brewing in my mind. However, I'm not sure if I should continue or if I should chuck the idea and start a brand new one. If I get - like - a lot of requests for a continuation, then I'll proceed. If not, then I'm going to move on. Once again - thanks for reading!!  
  
*** 


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